When Silence was better
by infiniteworld8
Summary: While talking an innocent walk with Kaylee and River, Simon once again manages to put his foot in his mouth.


_Parts of the dialogue imitate rim world speech, so please disregard if planning to check those for SPaG thanks!_

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He didn't know when to shut up that was his problem. He knew it was his problem and yet he couldn't figure out when it was better to be quiet , until it was to late.

Simon and Kaylee were walking through a park. Mal and Jayne were off picking up some delivery from another one of there deals. Inara had gone off to her work. Wash and Zoe were staying behind of the ship. And the Sheppard had disappeared an hour ago after seeing a small shrine and taking a detour. Simon and Kaylee were alone, except for River.

River danced up ahead racing after a butterfly with childlike abandon. Simon smiled seeing her so happy, it wasn't often that she ever truly relaxed she was tensed most of the time. The medications he had been giving her didn't seem to be helping, all of them worked for a time then the symptoms came back. The cryptic phrases, words that made nonsense, terror at absolutely nothing and labile emotions.

"There ya' go again. Can't ya ever be completely happy wit'out frowning up like that?"

Simon blinked and glanced down at Kaylee who was walking next to him. Her cheerful heart shaped face had it's ever present optimistic smile. "I was thinking"

"'bout what? Ya' look like a body died" Kaylee asked furrowing her eyebrows

"Nothing" Simon said not wanting to spoil the mood. Kaylee was still staring up at him "Simon cast around for something to say. "Its—It's a beautiful day" _A beautiful day really? What was he an idiot_. He mentally chastised himself. Kaylee didn't laugh at him , instead she opened her arms wide and said with a broad smile "that's just what I was thinking, the sun is bright and shining, everybody's okay, it makes a person just happy to be alive"

Simon nodded.

River came running up. Improbably she had not one butterfly but several perched on her head like an odd multicolored crown. "Simon, a beautiful crown, I gathered. I will not keep. things need to be free, nice now, later gone."

Simon smiled at River, inside he felt sick as he heard he the chaotic way she spoke. he took her jumbled phrases to mean she liked the crown of butterflies she had somehow gathered , but was going to set them free .

Kaylee giggled at the sight of River and said "that's real beautiful, River. Looks like you're royalty or somethin'"

"A queen must be good to her subjects" Then River stood perfectly still and the butterflies rose as one off her head. With a satisfied glance at the rising multicolored cloud of swirling wings, River ran ahead of them again and started absently gathering flowers. "River's so happy right now" Kaylee said

Kaylee and Simon settled down on a bench in the park and watched as River walked over to a fountain carefully took her boots off and began wading in.

"She's happy for now, then it'll start back, nightmares, screaming everything"

"Simon you need to enjoy the moment, right now she's happy and that's all that matters. She's fine."

Simon looked over at Kaylee, he hadn't realized he had spoken out loud. Kaylee was looking at him with a smile on her face just as broad as ever. Something about the expression irritated him . He knew he was validated in worrying about River. _didn't anybody understand that his sister had once been a coherent human and not a babbling, potentially dangerous, labile young woman?_

"Kaylee I can't live in the moment." He turned to Kaylee and a muscle twitched in his jaw as he said intensely "My sister was a genius. She was smart; she was intelligent, you could talk to her without having to decipher schizophrenic like ranting. Now she draws odd little doodles on the wall, daydreams about absurd things, finds joy in trivial games of jaxs and hide and go seek." Kaylee's face was dropping Simon continued "She laughs at the oddest things and did you see that butterfly crown she just had. People that do the things she does are not fine!"

Kaylee was quiet for a moment then said "So Simon, since I like to do most of those things you mentioned , is there something wrong wit' me?"

Simon realized he had unintentionally insulted Kaylee yet again and tried to backpedal. "Kaylee , I didn't mean it like that. I-It's that it's not normal for River to be odd like this you're naturally—" He stopped , he knew he had just said the wrong thing again.

Kaylee stood up and finished "odd. Say it if that's what you think about me"

"Kaylee, I didn't mean it like that. I—" Simon stood up.

"Well then how'd ya'mean it?" Kaylee stood up and her normally cheerful face had a look of anger and hurt. She cut off his explanations "Simon just be quiet" Then she walked away. Simon watched her go. He turned as he heard River approach.

River was dripping wet and had apparently laid down in the pool. She stared up at him with her dark and enigmatic eyes, her hair hung in wet strands down in her face. "Oddness is a state of mind. Mind is a state of being. Some people do not say what is meant correctly. Chaos ensues. Care is needed and not taken, that is odd." With that phrase River passed her boots to Simon and went down the park path in the direction Kaylee had gone. Simon wished he knew when to be quiet.

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_Thanks for reading, feedback is welcome! This story may stand alone or may continue, with a series of one shots all based on the central theme: when silence was better. This scrap was just hanging around my computer and so I finally let it out;). Hope you enjoyed it._

_p.s For those of you familiar with me as an author, I'm back on the writing scene because classes are over and words of Revolution alternate ending is coming and its going to be big!_


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